The first step in family therapy, therapy for blended families, and therapy for siblings is to recognize the components of the discord. We do this by talking about the issue at hand and the reason for the argument:
- how it starts
- what happens with each person during the argument
- and, how the argument ends
The goal of step one is to promote openness towards hearing another family member’s perspective.
The second step is to look at all the components and understand the pattern. Issues typically happen within families because they get caught in a pattern of interacting with one another. Once the pattern is brought to light, the family becomes familiar with their role in the pattern. Together, awareness and familiarity lead to opportunities to stop the pattern. When the pattern is removed, the family experiences de-escalation. That is, calmness instead of chaos.
The third step involves introducing new solutions and new ways of interacting. These solutions find roots in understanding each of the family members and are co-created from within the family. Thus, solutions are crafted depending on the needs of the family.