I integrate Emotionally Focused Therapy for Couples (EFT) into couple therapy. EFT for couples is an intervention that focuses on the couple’s interactions by illuminating the relationship pattern, uncovering unmet emotional needs, promoting acceptance, and finding new ways to interact.
The first step in couples therapy is to identify how arguments begin and then map out what happens as the argument unfolds. We will clarify the argument by discussing:
- how it starts
- what happens within each person during the argument
- then, what happens between the partners
- and, how the argument ends
The goal of step one is to create meaning by understanding how arguments begin and unfold.
Once the couple has de-escalated, the second step is to delve deeper into the emotional experience of each partner. Partners learn to slow down, pay attention to the emotions that they are feeling and the messages that they are getting from their partner. Then, partners will move towards sharing their experience with each other.
The third step involves facilitating new solutions and new ways of interacting. These solutions are rooted in a foundation of understanding and organically derived from within the relationship. Thus, solutions are crafted depending on the needs of the couple.